How To Smell Like A Dirty Hippy

I try and live a green lifestyle by avoiding unnecessary chemicals in the things I eat and what I clean with and what I put on my body.

One of the questions I hear all the time is about natural or green deodorant choices.

People are terrified of being stinky. And I don't blame them. I don't want to stink and I certainly don't want to be around anyone that stinks either. But I also don't really want to smell like a dirty hippy. You know, that smell of patchouli and condescension? Who wants to smell like that? No one. And no amount of talk at the Farmer's Market will convince me it is a good smell, just like no one will ever convince me they actually like the taste of PBR.

A good dirty hippy shouldn't smell at all. That's not to say you won't be sweaty, because you will, but at least you won't stink.

Below are the brands of dirty hippy deodorant I have used and my thoughts on each.

left to right: The Crystal, Tom's of Maine, Burt's Bees

The main difference between conventional deodorant and dirty hippy stuff is conventional stuff contains an antiperspirant. This makes your body stop producing sweat. However, since the main function of sweat is to clear your body, by blocking the sweat production from your armpits, you are just encouraging your body to produce sweat in other areas like your arms and face. So dry pits, but a soaked face. Or worse, swamp-ass.

Another big difference between dirty hippy stuff and conventional is conventional deodorant contains aluminum. Dirty hippies will tell you that aluminum will cause cancer but no science has proven that yet. I just don't like the idea of blocking my pores with aluminum, so I go the dirty hippy route.

So now that we know that I will sweat but hopefully not stink, how do these products really stack up?  You're worried that you will spend all this money on this stuff and end up a stinky, social outcast, aren't you? Well hopefully you won't.

The Crystal  - This was the first dirty hippy deodorant I tired. I paid around $7 with the claim it would last me a year. I believe I used it 8 months or so. You are supposed to "slightly moisten" it and then apply it. I never really knew what that meant, so I would run it under water for a second before applying it. It was weightless and scent free and for the most part I did not stink.

However, when I hit about 9 months pregnant around June of a hot as fuck summer, I thought I started to smell and I ended up switching to something conventional to get me through summer. I should note, however, that when I am pregnant, I acquire some freaky super sense of smell. I can smell the dirt outside my closed window and I constantly think I stink. I have The Good Husband smell me all the time and he says I don't. So I put the Crystal away until my body got back to normal. I still recommend this to anyone wanting to switch from conventional and I have heard great things about the roll on.

Tom's of Maine - This was the second dirty hippy stuff I tried. I love the smell - cucumber grapefruit and it glides on super easy and does not irritate my skin at all. However, I would consider this a winter deodorant since I don't think it would stand up to heavy sweating. I feel like stink issues might be more of a problem with this one. I think I paid around $6 for this and it has lasted me two winters. 

I couldn't actually find this product on the Tom's website, so they might not even make it anymore. If that is the case, I might try a new version once I run out of this in a few winters and see if the product has improved. I would recommend this to people that don't sweat a lot.

Burt's Bees - This was the last dirty hippy stuff I tried and so far it is the best at preventing odor. This is my spring and summer deodorant. I never think I smell when I wear this.

That is not to say this is without draw backs, b.c there are some. The biggest one is probably the smell. The Good Husband actually dislikes this. He says it makes me smell like a man. And with sage and lemon I probably do, compared to the sunshine and roses I normally smell like. But I don't notice the smell at the end of the day and TGH hasn't said anything lately, so it isn't that bad. Another big negative is this contains alcohol. Normally this isn't a huge deal but spray this stuff on after you shave your pits and you will be screaming like Macaulay in Home Alone. Not pretty.

I paid around $8 for this and it has lasted me going on two summers now. I feel like this is the best at preventing me from being BO stinky but now I am slightly man stinky. If you sweat a lot and are not put off by strong smells I would recommend this.

My plan is to continue to use all three of these until they run out and try two different versions of Tom's and the Crystal before going with Burt's Bees forever.

So I hope you learned something about dirty hippy deodorants and conquered your fear of being stinky.  Embrace your natural smell, but not too much since you still want an active social life. 

I was not paid for this post in any way. I bought all three of these products with my own money.