Explaining the looming government shutdown

In case you haven't heard the government might shut down tonight at midnight if Congress fails to pass a budget. This clusterfuck has been going on for a while and if you are just now hearing about it, I will present to you the best summary I can.

Obama was all "Here is the budget"

Congress was all

""

and dicked around in getting the numbers together

One party tired to compromise but the other party was all

""

Then another compromise was floated and the other party was all

""

Meanwhile Obama is all
""

Congress is coming back with

""

The government might shut down and the military might not get paid and everyone is now all

""

I hope that clears up everything for you.

I'll let you know when NPR has hired me for stunning and brilliant political analysis.