Love You to Pieces Father's Day (or B-Day) Craft

So The Good Husband had a birthday recently. He is generally a sour puss when it comes to all things celebrating. I, on the other hand, LOVE LOVE FUCKING LOVE ELEVENTY!!!1!!!!11!!! all thing even slightly celebratory. I especially love birthdays when it is a day to celebrate you. 

So keeping in mind TGH likes shit low key and we are on a budget this year, I decided to do a simple craft to celebrate the day he graced the universe with his presence. Break out the hot glue guns! 

I have seen this floating around in the Internets, usually in a Father's Day craft round up. And don't get me wrong, this is a *perfect* Father's Day craft. It has the right amount of cheesiness.

To make it, all you have to do is cut out a collar and tie (I used printer paper glued to cardstock) and a We Love You To Pieces cut out. Then glue them on to a jar (I used a pint mason jar) and fill the jar with Reese's Pieces. We love you to {Reese's} pieces. Get it?

How cute!!

But let's face it. TGH really didn't give a shit about it. He hugged us all as thanks b/c that's his job, but he only really cared about a jar full of candy that he and only he got to fucking eat. 

Dulce de Leche Sauce

If you follow me on Instagram, you'll already know that I tried really hard not to fuck up this recipe for Dulce de Leche sauce the other day. I guess boiling milk is a temperamental bitch and she fucked up my stove. But, after 2 hours, I had this jar of thick, glorious, sweet Dulce de Leche sauce.

Now, the original intent was to make churros but let me tell you that when you make churros and you can't find the star tip to your pastry bag, you end up with a plate of sweets that literally look like shit. 

Do you know how hard it is to eat something that looks like a huge piece of shit? I was so excited to have a new recipe on the blog that I might have cried a little when it all turned to shit. I thought I might post it anyway, but let's face it, I have enough problems with my shitty photos already. No need to an actual shit photo. 

But the good thing was the recipe only called for half the sauce. So what did I do with the other half? Stay tuned.

recipe from Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger

Hair Accessories Organizer AKA Hair Pretty Holder

When The Good Daughter was a tiny little thing, I thought I didn't have to worry about hair accessories. I mean, I only have the barest few to get me by. I don't even wash my hair daily, so there's that too. 

I wish now, that I had gotten a giant ass bow for her when she was a newborn but I didn't. And then she didn't grow hair for nearly 2 years. Bless her heart. 

She's going on 4 now and has gotten some hair accessories along the way. She calls them hair pretties.

Look at that sweet face. A mugshot, 16 years in the making

Before I just had them all lumped in a box in her dresser, but it was messy and unorganized. I wanted a way for TGD to see all her choices but in a way that wouldn't drive me nuts or require any work on my part. Lazy parenting FTFW.

So I made this hair accessories organizer aka hair pretty holder to hang in our bathroom.

All of her hair pretties are hanging out for her to see - flower clips or headband? the eternal question - and choose in the morning.

It was a simple thing to make too - just some foam board, fabric, ribbon and pegs. I did have to fiddle with the head band holders but after some more hot glue, they are now even and can hold several more head bands. 

I decided to use 4 ribbons for hair clips. Then I added two loops that attach with velcro to hold her ponytail holders and then the two pegs for head bands. I attached it to our linen closet in our bathroom using command strips. I imagine when TGD gets a little older, I can hang this in her room.

For now they keep my bathroom and her room hair pretty clutter free.

Mother's Day ~FREE PRINTABLE~

Mother's day is this Sunday. This is a day where us moms should be able to sleep in late, have well behaved and quiet children and a self cleaning house. Sadly, the likelihood of that happening is right up there with me waking up in the middle of a Channing Tatum and Shia LaBeouf sandwich, with the body of  Christina Hendricks and the hair of Kate Beckinsale and the bank account of Bill Gates. But I hope you can still have an amazing day.

One of the things I love about having children, is the simple wonder they have for everyday things. Being a cynical adult, I have lost all that magic and I get swallowed up by all the things I am doing wrong as a mom. So its nice to be able to see through the eyes of your children that you are actually a decent mom.

So I thought it would be nice for me to have something to keep forever as proof that my kids did once love me. Believe me, I am saving these babies for when The Good Daughter hits 12 and "GAWD YOU SUCK MOM!! WHATEVER!! I HATE YOU!!!" 

This I Love Mom printable is a great way to capture all that cute kid stuff they have in their head. Your kids get to write their favorite memory of you, all your favorite things and what makes you special. Best of all, it's FREE!

Get your copy here, give it to your husband shit, you know you will just do it on your own anyway, fill it out with your kids and then get it delivered to you with your breakfast in bed on Sunday. Unless your husband is like mine, in which case, you just get a bottle of tequila b.c he can't screw that up.

And, I do hope you have a happy Mother's Day. (Fill one out for you mom too!) 

P.S.: You will notice that not only is folding laundry the thing I am the best at, but I am also stinky (dirty hippy 4 LYFE!!) and look the best when I brush my hair. But the best thing about me is that I love The Good Daughter - her words. 

Did you miss Mother's Day? 

Don't worry. I will have one of these babies ready for Father's Day. Just check in June, um, whenever the hell Father's Day is. ;)

Etsy Shop Grand Opening Celebration!

I have some huge, exciting news.

I now have an Etsy Shop!!

The Good Son is still not sleeping through the night and I thought I should make better use of my free time instead of playing Candy Crush Saga. Besides, I am stuck of level 65, aka 8th circle of hell, anyway. So, I have created a shop for all my printables.

Don't worry, I still have some awesome free printables on here. And will have more to come.

In the meantime, why don't you celebrate my Etsy Shop Grand Opening with me?! You can score some sweet discounts and enter for a chance to win custom printables.

All the details are on my FB event page. (or see below)

~~Etsy Shop Grand Opening Celebration~~

Celebrate the Grand Opening of my Etsy Shop (http://etsy.me/11zxWCx) and receive discounts and a chance to win custom printables!!

My Etsy Shop officially opens on May 6.

But you can get discounts and a chance to win custom printables now.

~Attend the FB event and get a 15% discount. Invite your friends for a 20% discount. Simply have your friend leave a post on the event wall saying you invited them and you BOTH will receive a 20% discount.

~Visit my Etsy Shop (http://etsy.me/11zxWCx) during the Grand Opening Week, May 6 – May 12, and send me a convo in Etsy to get a 25% discount. Favorite my shop or any item and receive an additional 5% discount.

~Enter to win custom printables!

1^st prize is a customized Home Management Pack (http://etsy.me/100uiA2), a $30 value!

2^nd prize is a customized You Pick 3 Pack (http://etsy.me/10RVGql), a $25 value!

3^rd prize is a customized You Pick 2 Pack (http://etsy.me/17vzBgl), a $20 value!

Simply attend the FB event for an automatic chance to win.

Score more entries
~Leave me a comment on this post.
 
~Follow me on Twitter and tweet this. Tweet: "Etsy Shop Grand Opening Celebration from @thegoodwifeblog http://on.fb.me/11zGWaL discount codes and prizes"
 
~Follow me on Pinterest and pin my blog post or Etsy shop or favorite shop item.

The drawing ends on May 12 at midnight CST. The winner will be selected using random.org. I will contact the winner via email and they will have 24 hours to respond. If they fail to respond, a new winner will be chosen.

Thanks for all your love and support and welcome to my Etsy Shop!

Asian Slaw with ginger peanut dressing

My doc recently told me that my fatass needs to cut down on meat and other shitty foods. I am not happy about that. But I am happy with I find a recipe that is meatless and tasty and somewhat healthy. 

And this is all that. Plus the grocery store had bagged cole slaw on sale for a dollar and I had to do something with it.

And, of course, this is another recipe that came into my life b/c of Pinterest.

The original recipe says it makes 6 side dish servings, but I ate this as a main course and had leftovers for 2 days. The dressing is a nice balance of hot and sweet, spicy and flavorful.


Ingredients:
For the Dressing
1/4 cup honey 1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup unseasoned rice vinegar
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon Asian sesame oil
1 tablespoon peanut butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon Sriracha sauce
1 tablespoon minced fresh ginger
1 large garlic clove, minced

For the Slaw4 cups prepared shredded coleslaw
2 cups prepared shredded carrots
1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced into bite-sized pieces
1 cup cooked and shelled edamame
2 medium scallions, finely sliced
1/2 cup chopped salted peanuts (or you can leave them whole)
1/2 cup loosely packed chopped fresh cilantro

Instructions
~To make the dressing, combine all the ingredients in the bowl of a food processor and blend until well combined. Set aside. 

~Combine all of the slaw ingredients in a large bowl. Add the dressing and toss well. Let stand 10 minutes.

recipe from: here

Chili Lime Ramen

I love ramen noodles. 

It is probably due in part to my brokeass college days and how you could by 13 for a fucking dollar back at the local Stop and Shop. I lived on ramen, Mr. Pepper (Dr., to you regular folks) and Marlboro lights. But now that I am older and trying to live healthier, I have ditched the soda and the smokes. 

But I still love me some oodles of noodles. 

The problem is, is all the junk that is in regular ramen. And all that damn salt. It makes me thirsty for weeks. So I decided to turn this cheap eats into something a bit more like real food. And I wanted a flavor that I have never seen on the shelf.

This chili lime ramen would have a big "HOT AND SPICY!" label on the package and that's just the way I like it. I added a *heavy* amount of chili flakes, but you can turn it way down to give a sweet, yet spicy, tangy, yet salty flavor. 

The sauce made enough for two packages of noodles, so you can either half the recipe or save the rest of the sauce for ramen the next day.

Ramen Noodles with Sweet Chili Lime Sauce
Ingredients: 
1 package ramen noodles
3 tablespoons sugar (I used Splenda, since I have the 'betes)
3 tablespoons reduced sodium soy sauce
1 3/4 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1/2 zest of lime
1/2 teaspoons red chili flakes
1 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 teaspoons salt



Directions:
~Discard flavor packet from ramen noodles. Cook according to package. Drain.


~Mix the remaining ingredients in a small bowl, whisking to combine. Pour half the sauce over noodles. Eat.


recipe adapted from: here

Is this real life? Blog living v actual living

There has been some conversation between some friends about how much pressure we all feel to live in a house that is magazine ready at all times. The pressure seems to be worse when you love to look at home/living/organization blogs.

I grew up in a house that was neat only b/c my folks were never home to make it messy. Same thing goes for my cousin who I adored in high school - spotless house but her family was never in it. Then I see my neighbors homes and they all seem to be spotless, except for their kids' rooms. And it makes me feel like shit. Like I don't have my shit together, that I am living in filth and that cameras from Hoarders could show up at any minute.

But then I think I have to cut myself some slack. I have a three year old that has to be asked 10000 ways from Tuesday to pick up her room. I have a baby that is *still* not sleeping through the night. I go to bed at 8:30 for christsake.

In short, I think we all need to relax a little. To know that no one is perfect and that while I might talk a big fucking game about my house being clean and organized all the time, the fact is, life gets in the way.

And like standing in my underwear in front of a crowded bus stop, I present the current state of my home:

The blog version of my dining room:

and the real world version:

The blog version of my living room:

And the current state of destruction:

Nice, huh? Lived in. Normal, I would think. A house with two kids under the age of 4. The house of *gasp* a working mom.

There is a bag of dog food in the dinning room that needs to be put away. There is a box of Christmas wrapping paper under the coffee table in the living room. There are towels and toys everywhere in the living room.

And wouldn't you know that when the house is most often in this state is when my neighbor with the magazine ready home shows up to talk about a neighborhood yard sale. Or my other neighbor with the clean house stops in to drop off the casserole dish she borrowed.

I think for the next few years this might be my life. And it might just be ok.



Want to weigh in? Tweet with me and make me feel better about the current state of my house: @thegoodwifeblog

Owl Valentines

It's time once again for shitty homemade Valentines!

Last year, I made cheesy candy treat bags.  The year before it was handmade cards and the year before that was a Valentine Breakfast! Can you tell I like to get my craft the fuck on during a holiday?

This year is no different and so I made owl valentines.

I saved some toilet paper rolls, let The Good Daughter color some paper (I did color some too) and then I hot glued that shit together to make these owls.

And I had to cheese it the hell up by adding sayings like "Hoo's Your Valentine?" and "Owl Love You" and of course "Owl Be Your Valentine." All in all, it was an easy craft that allowed TGD and I to spend some time together, for me to get some wicked hot glue burns and for all the other 3 year olds at daycare will think are the shit. 

What more could I ask for in a craft?